The Spark

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That one last spark in the fire-pit, is really important. I can put some dry leaves,blow on it and give it some small dry kindling and it will rise again into a fire. Tending it and caring for it.
We have Sparks, I have a Spark, each of us do. I’ll share two different kinds.

The Survival Spark. You endure a traumatic event. Everything has changed with in seconds or minutes. You hold on to the Spark, that tiny Spark deep inside of your heart. Tend to it, care for it. Even if you are in a fetal position for days, crying, depressed, in pain, the Spark will grow. You might think that it won’t or you may not see the results quickly. As long as you stay focused on the mundane, yes, that is right. The regular stuff, like….work, school, writing – journal {journal hard!}, Point A to Point B…when you get home to your cave, hold the Spark, feel it growing. Before you know it! You will have a fire in your lap. You’ll sing to the radio, stop for an ice cream and maybe even write a letter to a friend. Your Spark is magnificent, personal and pure! Cherish it. Keep it forever, let love pour from it, share your Spark Love, never-never give your Spark away.

The Sensual Spark. This is a different Spark that lives between the navel and the hips. It is a Spark that is ignored a lot, taken by many to be evil?, it is passion, a sea of desire, a fire of creativity. Like a super hero, you can call upon your Spark to create a ring of fire around you. The fire dances with lust and lucious flames. Only the brave will try to enter in through the fire ring. When they do, you will caress your Spark and counsel with it, like a fire crystal ball, assessing who has stepped through, calculating their intensions.
Or/And The Sensual Spark is a warm blazing light that dances, all alone, in the moonlight, in the forest or on the granite rocks of the ocean, deep into the desert upon a Mesa filled with passion. Just you and your Sensual Spark. Sharing this Sensual Spark is a very tricky thing. If you share it with all, that come in contact, the respect of the Spark becomes a dim light. The more you caress your Sensual Spark and save it for the ones that truly appreciate it, the Sensual Spark will grow stronger, deeper and fill your life with a healthy desire for the senses. Be mindful, self loving and cherish the ones that have entered the ring of fire, they deserve some of the best things on the planet. Choose wisely. Once the fire of the Spark touches another, it cannot be retracted, it will be burned into both of you. Listen to your wisdom. The Spark may need time to grow into the other one, or you may be afraid of what you are feeling, good feelings, safe feelings, yet, your ring of fire – The Sensual Spark – is there to protect you. Listen to it.

Spark On!

The Guardian, a true story

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As I wish, I am writing these true events, as a story.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, she lived in a house full of rage. She would pose like a mermaid sometimes on the rocks in the back yard, or dream lazily by the creek and watch the cray-fish travel about.  The most fantastic thing, was to watch the garbage man, this was her first experience with her Guardian. He was big, strong, had long hair and he could pick up the metal barrel garbage cans like they were easy She didn’t see him as a boyfriend or how cute he was…..she really saw him as a protector. Chin on her hands, watching out the window, she thought, “if only he could protect me inside this house of rage”. She continued her fight, crying, bleeding, running, running away, screaming and fighting for her life”. She always remembered the garbage man. Where was he?

Many Many,  years passed. She was a woman now. She was invited to an Angel – Guardian class. Lying down on her mat, covered in her blanket, going with in, she listened to all the wonderful words Dr. Livingston gave. Opening the door in her young girl/ woman mind, she saw a big strong man, long hair, wide metal bracelets on his wrists, Jonolyn was his name, that is what he said to her, during her vision. He made it known to her that he would always be there for her.

She is a tough spirit, making her way through life, yet she always kept the garbage man and Jonolyn near by.

One day, she began practicing the “pipe filling” song in Lakota, over and over again, until the tones and pitches were like a meditation. One day, without notice, she received a box in the mail. It was from her friends in Maine. In it was , a pipe! She was gifted a pipe and she was so happy. Along with the pipe, were some other morsels of things. A set of metal wrist bands like Jonolyn wears. Her Guardian was the first thing she thought of!!!  She kept them in a safe place. Soon, she released them to one of her sculptures on her front lawn outside, putting the bands on its / his wrists, arms of the sculpture open wide, to protect her, now that she was alone.

Long after that, she went to a special ceremony in the mountains. A vision was given to her to share, not knowing if this was her vision or to be passed to someone else. The words were ” Clear the way, make the coast clear, he is coming, he is one of the safe ones”.

A short time had passed, and everything lined up perfectly for a 2 week  Yoga training, During the training, there was a wonderful meditation/vision work called Holo Trophic Breathing. At the very end of the vision, the garbage man appeared to her, just in a flash,  She had tears in her eyes, happy to see him again.

A few days later,  she and her brother saw Dr. Livingston while having lunch in Tularosa, NM.                                                                                                     Seeing her again welled up thoughts about the Jonolyn and the Garbage man. Leaning over the table she asked her  brother, why the Garbage man didn’t protect her. Her brother, so, deeply~meaningful, said ” he did, you are still here!”.  He helped keep you alive and strong.

There is a warrior Guardian coming to her, not as an intimate relationship. It is a spirit connection.                                                                                                It is big, filled with joy, abundant, strong and radiates  light & love.

Everything is lining up, He is getting ready to leave, he is preparing to be present……He is preparing for his journey.

The vision

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To live life with a happy heart. Whether I am a ware of Ebola hysteria or not, whether the sun is getting closer to the Earth, whether my daughters roll their eyes at me and still love me no matter what.

My happy life wants to be shared with another happy person, not to babysit, or find some sort of compromise all the time. It would be delightful to wake up with someone, enjoy Yoga together and plan our future together as healers, travel and find amazing things to do. Read to one another, snuggled up next to one another. Have the freedom to create some places to visit and teach, share our dark pitted pasts and how it made us into shinning lights. Teaching people to save themselves, with amazing tools. Like a tag-team, reaching out like strong branches of a tree.

Nothing is perfect, Perfection is imperfection. I get that. But I know there is a warrior, a strong and amazing man that is doing the same thing I am doing. Praying in his own way, sending out vibrations to the universe, listening to his steps on a cool Autumn morning with patience, reaching into the dreams of dreams. Dreaming of going to places and find broken items and resurrect them into beautiful pieces of art.

Enjoy Yoga in the forests, streams, mountains and asphalt.

Delicious food together.

Delicious love together.

Delicious.

Taking the edge off.

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Isn’t it interesting how we all like to “take the edge off”.  A martini after the office, a beer after digging in the yard, a game of tennis, an energy drink to blast through your part time job after your full time job, a nap, maybe some bad-ass sex in the evening after a long day, a hike, a smoke, a good conversation with some intelligent friends after a meeting, a drive in the country, maybe it is a big bowl of Green Chile Stew and a couple hot homemade flour tortillas, a margarita, lifting some weights at the gym, taking a run.  These all sound fantastic don’t they?.

But to some people, they prefer pain, gossip, anguish, arduous arguments dragging the issue into the ground, baggage overload, emotional vampirism, cutting themselves, delving into a pit of depression, dragging their knuckles on the ground scrapping their skin into the pavement. Sounds bleak and dark.

So what if you are depressed, So what if you smoke, so what if you drink, so what if you are a cutter!

On a Yoga mat. Nothing matters except you! You. You and your problems, your blessings, your problems that you don’t think are problems. You and your skin. You and your breathe no matter what you do to take the edge off, your sugar, your fat, your dreams and nightmares, your stiff legs, your healthy sexual desires, your painful feet, your complaints…….they all stay on the mat with you. You cannot give them to anyone else. Your past experiences that are haunting you that you cannot get rid of, and are trying to spill them out on to others, your damage control, your dark hallways.  Sounds terrible doesn’t.

Guess what?…..we are men and ladies being molded by the white light, we are heroes of wars, personal wars that go on, deep inside, we are not all pretty, we are not all young and tight, we are older, wiser, weaker and filled with letting go. We thrive for the mat. The Yoga mat that doesn’t care. It may have the prettiest flowers and the most majestic haiku, but it doesn’t care. It is your sacred space, to create a healthy boundary, not only for yourself, but for others. Each with our mat, to support our Asanas of pain and joy.

We drag our Yoga mats to vacation, to Yoga class, to the forest, to the Yurt, to the patio, to the living room and to studio and to beyond. We take “the edge off”, standing, sitting and laying down. As BKS Iyengar would say, “knowing the violence inside of you”. The fears. My fear is inversions. I have a violence inside of me that I wrestle with, with inversions.

FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real.

When you get into Yoga. F&*ck everybody else. Focus on your own damage, fear, pain, joy, love, and all the other stuff floating, wading, mucking, blooming, blossoming and charging in your amazing life.

I do not want to hear, “I can’t go to a Yoga class, I am too depressed, angry or blaming my problems on my childhood” seriously, really?  Go to your mat, even if you are in an insane asylum, a mental hospital, a VA hospital, a ghetto, a barrio, a dead end, a farm, you live in your car, a recovery house, a mansion, a trailer or a brick house. Just stand on the mat, just sit on the mat. Cry on the mat, lay down in a fetal position on the mat. Stuff will start coming out of your pores. You will begin to move, breathe and say to yourself, my movement inside of me is my life. I work things out with my inner voice that is focused on a healthy outcome. No blame. Tag – you are it! You will grow. It will be hard, you will not like some things and some things you will.

So, now that I have been through my own personal “Vietnams”, my wars-not yours, my growth and pain, love and lost, bad decisions, great choices, laughter and loathing, gaining momentum and falling behind, watching things unfold that I am not happy with and giving them away to nothing, celebrating my life with a joy that comes from the painful road, the beautiful road, the red road, the yellow brick road. I have my Asanas that I am approaching with mixed feelings. Pushing through to the other side, fear, WTF attitude and yet my inner stuff is my inner stuff, on my time-not your time, and we should all let one another approach that mat and Asanas on their own engine. Be patient with yourself.

Some people look so beautiful on the outside and their insides are screaming for escape and help. Some people look scary and dark-inward and yet they are free on the inside.

Go now, be your happy amazing self on that filthy mat or that darling sparkly mat. Dance inside, whether you dance to Trance Techno or Hip Hop, Country or Blue Grass, Gospel or Death Metal, just be honest with yourself, not with others while you are on the mat, because YOU are it! Work it, Love it, Be it on your time.

So, Take the Edge Off, give the lust of Yoga and all it has to offer to yourself. Your imperfect Awesome self. Be a selfish bitch on the mat. Get quiet, get inside, get deeper. Get to know YOU! Take the edge off! Float away for that amount of time and let that build you, shape you and draw you, closer to yourself.